Thu, Jan. 19th, 2012, 10:49 pm
Just a little over 5 years ago, I walked away from LiveJournal.
I'm not preaching or anything. In fact, I believe a lot of people need an "out" for things they just can't/decide not to share with many other people. For me, LiveJournal was just that. It helped me immensely during the few years I used it. It could also be said that LiveJournal was a bad influence on me, at the time. Your mileage may vary; take it as you will.
I ultimately stopped using LiveJournal because I got into a relationship. Finally, I had someone who I could talk to about anything and everything! It was great while it lasted. Almost 5 years, from Dec 8, 2005, till just after my birthday in Sep 2010, until she decided to leave me for another woman (yay -_-;;). It had its ups and downs, but I'd like to think of myself as a better person because of it.
Side Note: Heh. Looking at the friend access list, I never did give her access to see most of my LJ. It's been so long since I've looked back or even tried to remember what I was like that long ago. Maybe its for the best that I leave those pages locked in LJ history. I'm not saying all my bad habits are gone, I've just learned how to deal with stuff a lot better in recent years. I'm doing good for me, nowadays. Like I once wrote in a comment, a few years back, "I'm not rich or anything, but I'm not assed-out broke, either." It's a good place to be, for me, right now. I don't need anything extravagant at this point in my life.
Side Note 2: If there was one thing I wish I could do, is go back to 2003, or whenever I started this LJ, and smack myself; tell myself that yeah, life sucks when you're that age, but it does get better. Granted, not too much better, but you learn how to deal with it like an adult-type person. Not that the me from 2003 would give a shit. But yeah...
Another factor was moving out of my parents' house. It cut an amazing amount of stress out of my life, at the time. Also, go figure, my parents chilled out quite a lot after I did. I was never on horrible terms with either of them, at least nothing that lasted more than a little while, tops. I was also living with people my age, who I could talk to about problems I was having, that would be relevant to them, as well. It was also a good deal, as well, and also helped me become the person I am, today. Nothing like living with 8 other people in the same house.
We've moved around since then. A house of 9 became a house of 7, then we moved, the house of 7 eventually became a house of 4, which became an apartment of 2, and now remains only me, in a one-bedroom apartment. I have to say: not the biggest fan of living alone. Maybe I got too used to having people around to hangout with all the time. We had some good times, as well as bad times. I'm pretty sure everyone that lived with us has a mark on them, and whether that mark was good or bad, many life lessons were learned within those walls. With the exception of a few, the people we lived with are still pretty cool, and I see a bunch of them every now and then. Heck, I even work with Kai, nowadays. Glad I could help him out in his time of need. He's a decent guy.
With all that has happened, both bad and good, I don't find it enough to pull myself back to LiveJournal for a reunion tour. I'm not saying I won't ever use it again, but it might be a few more years time before I feel the need to post anything (circumstances forgiving).
From what it seems, most of the people that I was friends with, on here, seem to have either removed their accounts (or LJ did it for them), or just abandoned ship completely. I'd rather not do something like that. I'm the kind of person that likes closure. Granted, it took almost 5 years to do it, but that's what you gotta do. You have to look at even the smallest good things life gives you; a couple bucks on a scratcher ticket, finding a 5 dollar bill on the ground, getting to do something that makes you feel happy, achieving an extra life in a video game, getting to a save point after working your ass off for it, conquering the world or some small portion thereof, etc. For me, at this time, at this point in my life, it's a small piece of closure. It's me, closing the door on something old, but not completely forgotten, and looking forward to whatever life may throw my way next. It's me, sitting here, letting whoever is still on LiveJournal know that yes, I am still alive and I am doing okay. That's it.
Till we meet again,
I feel a little better today. Nowhere near as bad as yesterday, but still bad. Yay for having to go to work tomorrow. I won't see Chris there again until Summer. Darn...
Anyways, sleep for me now. G'nite.
...but I don't really care anymore. It's not like anyone still reads this thing.
I'm sick. Like...really sick. I don't get sick very often, but when I do...yeesh. I don't understand it, really. I was fine yesterday. Then today, I wake up a bunch of times and feel like I have to throw up. I sat up until the feeling went away, then went back to sleep. Got back up and I had the worst fit of the chills I've ever had. I actually needed to go get a blanket from my room to wrap myself in. Then I feel so hot I could melt. I fell asleep on the couch for another hour or so.
I feel a little better now. I'm tired, so I think I'll go try and get some sleep. If I'm this bad tomorrow, I might have to go see a doctor or something.
Oh, and btw, Merry (belated) Xmas and Happy New Year. For those of you that came to my New Year's Party, I hope you had a good time. Also, there seems to be a small collection of umbrellas in my kitchen. Give me a ring if one of them is yours, we can work out negotiations. :)
Also, for the people that came back from college for the holidays and I didn't get to see you, we need to get together over the summer or something. I miss you guys.
Thanksgiving wasn't so bad. Was pestered by my mom to wake up early and drive over to the house so I can help them load the car. She said they'd be leaving early because she had to help Yia-Yia with the cooking. She said they'd be leaving the house at 10am. Well, I most definitely didn't wake up early. Actually, I had been up since 4am. I had a cat nap in my computer chair around 8:30 and didn't wake up until ~11. "Oh shit," I thought, "She's going to be pissed. They're going to be gone already, so I'm just going to drive to Yia-Yia's." Well, I did drive there. What I learned, though, is that my family hadn't left, like my mom said. So I talked with Yia-Yia a bit, and eventually fell asleep on the couch, waiting for my family to get there. I was really tired. Family got there around 3:30. I woke up around 4:30. We ate around 5:00. Good food, but I didn't eat a whole lot. Wasn't really that hungry. That, and the fact that my family is really loud. I wanted to leave the table as soon as possible. They gave me a headache. Fell asleep again, woke up around 8:00. Drove home. Yay.
Friday night was spent at Emma's house. Potluck Thanksgiving is something we've been doing for at least 6 years. Yeah, I feel old. But yeah, I had fun. I can't believe it's been so long since we were all in high school. Yikes. Also, got to see my friend Chip again. He gave me a DS Lite for free. Shiny. Now I just need to find something to do with it. Maybe if I ever get some spare money, I can buy a game or two for it or something. *shrug* Still it was a nice gesture.
So yeah, haven't updated in a few weeks. Let's see...important stuff... Oh, I was involved in a car accident with my brother. I was stopped at a stop sign and the kid behind me ran into me. In respect to the kid, I heard his brakes lock up well in advance. He was easily far enough away to brake safely, I think his brakes just locked up. Also, it was raining. He skidded into me at about 20mph. So here, we have this spectacular battle: the rear end on a 1989 Chevy Blazer S10 4x4 vs. the front end of a new used 2005 Honda Accord. No contest. Since he was skidding, the front end of his car was tilted down, so it had a nice face-to-face with my tow hitch. So yeah, he smacked into it pretty hard. All in all, the result of the battle: Hellion wins! The only damage Hellion and I took was a small dent in the tow hitch and sore muscles everywhere from the severe adrenaline rush. The Accord was about 0.5" away from being totaled, if not so. The driver was fine. I vaguely remember him bitching about buying a worthless piece of shit with shitty breaks. Oh, by the way, the kid was like, 19. It's okay, buddy. Not many cars can stand up to a steel car and come out on top. Hellion wins!
That's about all the important stuff I can think of. Except for the fact that I'm broke off my ass, I'm depressed as all hell, and I might be losing my job in the upcoming weeks, I'm doing great! But yeah, can't cover everything, now can I? That would be too much bitching.
...and Thanksgiving. :P
Before Zander's Military ID expired (Oct. 31), we were supposed to go to the Class Six at Fort Meyer to buy mass amounts of alcohol. I had this whole budget thing for it, too. Yeah, didn't work out. He lost it a few days before we were supposed to go and still hasn't found the damn thing.
Instead, I went to the ABC store in Vienna. I did get a lot of what I wanted, but I ended up paying a lot more than if Zander hadn't lost his ID. But still, a box full of liquor for $220 isn't all that bad. I got paid back by the people who wanted stuff, so all that money wasn't mine.
I got a lot of new stuff that I'd never tried before, 5 of which come to mind:
Bailey's Irish Cream - Dear lord, how have I never had any of this before!? This stuff is awesome!
Hpnotiq - Fruity vodka goodness. Not bad, but excellent if you mix it with Blue Raspberry Martini Mix (The tall squiggly bottle!)
Stohli Vodka - I was told this was a lot better than Smirnoff. In my opinion, it tasted worse. That, and it was a lot more expensive. $25 for a 750ml bottle, compared to a $20 handle of Smirnoff. Oh yeah.
Godiva Chocolate Liqueur - Not bad at all. It's awesome when mixed with Bailey's and Kaluha.
Midori Melon Liqueur - Shiny shiny shiny. This stuff is awesomely amazing! *drool*
Oh, and before I forget: I have three bottles of sake, one of which is open. I don't want them. They do not interest my taste buds. They are either going to be given away or sold cheap (like...12-15 bucks for all). Just wanted to put that out there for people who might be interested.
Next subject: Thanksgiving!
As has been the case since sometime in high school, I have been invited to Emma's potluck Thanksgiving thing. It'll be good to see people, most of which I haven't seen since last Thanksgiving/New Years. I'll have to ask about guests, though. I might be wanting to bring a few people. *shrug*
Wed, Nov. 8th, 2006, 10:43 am
My frostbite. Yeah, I have frostbite. It hurts, although it's getting better...slowly. By the way, did I mention that I didn't get it by staying outside or even handling dry ice? Yeah.
So...we, the people living in our house (actually, it's pretty much just Kai and I), LOVE canned air. It's fun. It can be used as a cleaner, and as a girl repellent. When I say girl repellent, I mean when it's used on girls, they tend to run, screaming, in the opposite direction. Like I said...fun. ^_^
Well, the latter use requires the bottle to be turned upside down, and then fired from a distance, for like a few seconds at a time. This takes the really really cold stuff, and shoots it out, instead of just the air. But like I said, it needs to be shot from a distance. This is because the cold stuff is really cold. If used in close proximity and for a prolonged duration, it can cause (wait for it...) ...frostbite!
We were sitting in the living room, talking about stuff (I think this was either the day of or the day before Tristan started moving out). Sharon, I guess, found one of the cans of canned air we had on the table. She turned it upside down, came up behind me, and blasted me through my shirt...from about an inch away...for about 5-7 seconds. Pain. It hurt a lot. I didn't know skin could freeze over and crinkle like it did. In Sharon's defense, she didn't know how much damage it could actually do, seeing as though (I don't think) we ever shot at her.
After a few days, I had a nice, big, dark mark on my back, about one inch in diameter. NOT FUN! It hurt all the damn time. Believe me when I say I was pissed, especially when Aimee thought it'd be a good Idea to try and wake me, up one morning, by poking it. It woke me up, all right. Long enough to yell at her for it and go back to sleep.
It's been about two weeks since it happened. The mark has shrunk in size and dead skin keeps flaking off like a Pillsbury biscuit (mmm...biscuit). I don't think there are any dead nerves, due to the fact that I can still feel the pain. Yay for small victories, I guess.
Wed, Nov. 8th, 2006, 10:18 am
I work a 20 hour week at this job, of which, I have a bunch of downtime. There is a bunch of stuff I could be doing during this downtime. Problem is, internet is filtered and most of the stuff I could be doing is blocked off. Then again, I don't do normal stuff on the internet. Okay, yeah, I use Ebay some, and update LiveJournal when there's a blue moon in the sky, but I just can't bring myself to get a MySpace, Facebook, or any of those other stupid fly-by-night fads that everyone and their brother gets addicted to. Okay, I like YouTube. But that's because they don't have it blocked here at work, and it gives me something to do. And yes, all the sites I listed off are NOT blocked. But damn if any of the Yahoo!, AOL or MSN services aren't blocked. No IRC, any IM programs, ALL fanfiction sites, all gaming sites, gaming news, and the like are blocked, a few of the news sites I use are blocked, and even a bunch of webcomics I like to read are blocked. Fuck WebSense. Whenever I finally find a new way around the filter, they've got it blocked in a matter of hours, sometimes a day or two. Damn them.
Went in to work late today because I woke up feeling like total crap. Was also let go early today because of the same reason. I'm still not feeling much better. I hope I'm not getting Mono or something. I guess we'll see how we're feeling tomorrow morning. -_-;;
As for other stuff:
Tristen - Still not moved out. Hasn't even been here since the day she first started moving. Shitbox was in the main floor bathroom, but I have a feeling Dana relocated it to Tristen's bedroom. Ick. I'll just pretend I don't know anything.
Alcohol stock - Completely refilled. House total of ~$220 spent on shiny shinies.
Frostbite - It's turned a very nice shade of purple. It still hurts like fuck. (Oh yeah, I forgot to post about this... Later.)
Right now, though. It's way past when I wanted to go to sleep. ARGH, I need a shower!
I finally got the sleep at a decent hour for a change. Usually, I get to sleep around 2:22am, only to wake up at 7:30, go to work, etc. This leaves me with how I normally function. I'm always tired. It's not like I choose to be an insomniac, it just happens. At 2am, insomnia really has no control over whether your body wants to sleep or not.
Anyways, I went to sleep at 11:30. Definitely woke up around 2:30, not being able to go back to sleep to save my life. Around 5, I just say, "fuck it," and get up. And that's how I'm typing this right now.
This sucks. I most definitely have work at 8:30. That, Mondays are my busiest day of the week. I need my damn sleep. Argh!
...I'm eating Beefaroni right from the can. Mmm...cold Beefaroni. Technically, it's not bad for you. They cook it before they compress it into can-y goodness.
You know why? Well first off, I'm hungry. Duh. Why else would I be eating, had I not a message from my stomach, telling me to eat? The main reason is that the microwave that used to be in the kitchen, went "kaboom", followed by a metallic "THUNK", followed by a less significant "clunk". This was due (in reverse order), to me lightly kicking it, after I had thrown it out the side door, after we had declared it unsuitable for home use, after it had started frying its insides while cooking Dana's Hot-Pocket. So yeah, it went flying. ...And yes, we got video. ^_^
Tristen started moving out yesterday. From what it seems, she's about 1/2 moved out. Not bad, considering it took the best of us a whole week to move into here. For whatever reason, she didn't show up today. *shrug* She took the cats with her yesterday, so I really didn't get to say goodbye. I will miss the kitties. Well...I'll miss Sandy, at least. While Tristen did take the cats with her, she did not take the kittie shit box with her, which most definitely smells like it hasn't been cleaned in over a week (which is actually quite possible). Eww.
New subject. We got a couch today. Surprisingly, it color-matched with the couch we already had. I don't think Kai really cared when we found it, because he's the one that pointed it out after we already had it. Also, his only mistake was that he miscalculated the amount of space we had in the living room. Oh well. We can rearrange stuff. We don't really have a definite plan set out for the ground floor, anyway. Stuff can be moved around, it's no big deal.
Ok, so more on me (yay!) I am currently coming back up from being drunk. Yes, lots of alcohol was had tonight (although not the best liquor in the world), and I did get good and happy. Between last night and tonight, I think 3-4 bottles of alcohol were finished that needed to be. That Bacardi Limon was an eyesore in my collection. Is was gross; Not even fitting enough to be made into Jello. Yeah, I finished it last (like 20 minutes ago) so I tasted it the least (and it still tasted pretty damn bad).
My alcohol tolerance has definitely fallen within the last few months, but hasn't completely bottomed out (thankfully). I keep finding out that it's really easy to entertain people when you're drinking. All you have to do is exaggerate one simple thing, speech for example, and people think you're hammered off your ass. Tonight was kind of a mix. I was really slurring some of my speech and stuttering heavily (the kind of stuttering that would get old after like 10 minutes of doing it constantly). Seriously, though, right now I've got a pretty bad headache. Just a random, personal thought that might interest people.
Random: My finger is doing better yay!
Last thing: I finally got paid by SAIC. I can now pay rent and buy food and other good stuff. It's only been over two weeks that they haven't sent me a check. The problem started when they had to take me out of the pay system to perform a yearly evaluation (and supposedly give me a raise). I couldn't enter my time sheets while I was out of the pay system; Ok, pretty standard. ...Yeah, definitely took them too long, and they forgot to put me back in when they were done. So we called them and had them put me back in. Still, not able to submit my time sheets. Called again. While they had put me back in the system, they had not made my time sheets available for submittal. Got that straightened out last Monday morning. Thursday, when I usually get paid, rolls around... no money in my account. FINALLY had the money show up in my account Friday morning. YAY! I went out and spent $80 on groceries.
About the raise I was supposed to get; I'm pretty sure I got it, but I'm not entirely sure how big of a raise it was. I'll have to check into that, or just wait until Thursday, when I get paid again.